Becoming Adults
Some people are so foreign to the idea of giving and receiving criticism, that they are easily surprised if someone would put up with being criticised by their leaders, even though they are adults. On the whole, the sentiments behind surprise like this are not good. Accepting criticism is very important in any community. Listening to criticism is how we learn to grow, even after we become adults. It is a sign of our sincerity that we are willing to accept criticism.
However there is another side to that surprise about criticism. There comes a time in the life of the average systemite when no one in the whole wide world takes any serious responsibility for them any more. Warnings pretty much cease, and correction (apart from matters to do with their employment) rarely comes from anything softer than a police uniform. If they do something stupid, they bear the consequences, whether they be large or small; and just knowing this seems to get most people disciplining themselves to stay out of trouble.
The Bible says, "Let each person bear their own burden." (Galatians 6:5) In other words, we need to "Grow up and take responsibility for ourselves."
It is a good thing to be prepared to do all one can to help people in their community, and we don't want to shirk our responsibilities as leaders. However, it can be easy to get into a pattern of just moving from one crisis situation to another, and from one person to another who is seriously out of the spirit over something that really is pretty basic. More often than not, the problem is something that has already come up over and over in the past; and yet the person persists with staying out of the spirit despite plea after plea to try and get through to them.
If any community wants to grow properly, then it needs to be done in God’s strength. If we are not even able to sort ourselves out, and bear our own burdens, how will we be able to bear the burden of any new disciples of Christ? How can we lead others when we refuse to grow up and lead ourselves?
Or, as Paul put it when writing to the Corinthians, "When you really ought to be eating meat, I still have to feed you milk." (I Corinthians 3:1-2)
We may envy a leader because they generally don't have to answer to anyone but God. But all we have to do to get in much the same position that they are in, is to start answering to God ourselves, and stop waiting for someone else to tell us when we are getting out of the spirit.
In other words, "Grow up!"
If our problem is dishonesty, then perhaps it is time for us to get serious about being honest. If our problem is not sharing, then we should start sharing. If our problem is bitterness, then we need to confess it and ask for forgiveness. If our problem is poor-me's then we should start thinking of others instead of ourselves. If our problem is impatience, then we should stop making excuses for it and start changing! It's all a matter of taking some initiative in disciplining ourselves.
It it quite common for people to turn around when backed into a corner with a spiritual gun to their head; but not to do so until it reaches that stage. In the meantime, we sabotage everything we are doing by working as a secret agent for the devil. See, that's what happens when we let ourselves get out of the spirit, and when we won't discipline ourselves to get back into the spirit before others notice. Our attitude disrupts everything positive that is happening around us.
Really, taking responsibility for keeping ourselves on the rails is only the very first, most basic step toward becoming a spiritual adult. Paul said, "Let each person bear their own burden." But then he said something that seemed to contradict it. He said, "Bear one another's burdens." (Galatians 6:2-5) This harder command is the next step. We need to become an adult so that we can help the babies. First we start getting our own life in order; and then we start helping others to get their lives in order... not just as a self-righteous preacher, but as someone who really cares.
If we start thinking a little more of someone besides ourselves, we are more likely to stop getting out of the spirit and be able to spot needs in others (and in ourselves) and deal with them in Christian wisdom and love.
One very serious observation that is worth making: When someone is out of the spirit, they rarely ever mention God at all. They lose sight of what God wants. All that matters is what they want, how they have been hurt, what their opinion is, as opposed to someone else's opinion, etc. You really can't get much more backslidden than that, now, can you? Until we bring God back into the picture, and get serious about finding his will and obeying him, we’re pretty much useless to others and to him.
We all have weaknesses, and some habits are hard to change. But even that would be helped if we would just confess our weaknesses and ask for help from others in overcoming them. But while we cover up and justify our weaknesses, we will never get anywhere. So if we won't help ourselves, and if we won't ask for help, then what point is there in us staying around?
Someone feeling sorry for themselves could take that last line as an excuse to leave the community and commit spiritual suicide. However, this is a classic illustration of the kind of problem being addressed in this article.
Adults know that if they commit suicide, they have no one to blame but themselves for doing it.
Some people are so foreign to the idea of giving and receiving criticism, that they are easily surprised if someone would put up with being criticised by their leaders, even though they are adults. On the whole, the sentiments behind surprise like this are not good. Accepting criticism is very important in any community. Listening to criticism is how we learn to grow, even after we become adults. It is a sign of our sincerity that we are willing to accept criticism.
However there is another side to that surprise about criticism. There comes a time in the life of the average systemite when no one in the whole wide world takes any serious responsibility for them any more. Warnings pretty much cease, and correction (apart from matters to do with their employment) rarely comes from anything softer than a police uniform. If they do something stupid, they bear the consequences, whether they be large or small; and just knowing this seems to get most people disciplining themselves to stay out of trouble.
The Bible says, "Let each person bear their own burden." (Galatians 6:5) In other words, we need to "Grow up and take responsibility for ourselves."
It is a good thing to be prepared to do all one can to help people in their community, and we don't want to shirk our responsibilities as leaders. However, it can be easy to get into a pattern of just moving from one crisis situation to another, and from one person to another who is seriously out of the spirit over something that really is pretty basic. More often than not, the problem is something that has already come up over and over in the past; and yet the person persists with staying out of the spirit despite plea after plea to try and get through to them.
If any community wants to grow properly, then it needs to be done in God’s strength. If we are not even able to sort ourselves out, and bear our own burdens, how will we be able to bear the burden of any new disciples of Christ? How can we lead others when we refuse to grow up and lead ourselves?
Or, as Paul put it when writing to the Corinthians, "When you really ought to be eating meat, I still have to feed you milk." (I Corinthians 3:1-2)
We may envy a leader because they generally don't have to answer to anyone but God. But all we have to do to get in much the same position that they are in, is to start answering to God ourselves, and stop waiting for someone else to tell us when we are getting out of the spirit.
In other words, "Grow up!"
If our problem is dishonesty, then perhaps it is time for us to get serious about being honest. If our problem is not sharing, then we should start sharing. If our problem is bitterness, then we need to confess it and ask for forgiveness. If our problem is poor-me's then we should start thinking of others instead of ourselves. If our problem is impatience, then we should stop making excuses for it and start changing! It's all a matter of taking some initiative in disciplining ourselves.
It it quite common for people to turn around when backed into a corner with a spiritual gun to their head; but not to do so until it reaches that stage. In the meantime, we sabotage everything we are doing by working as a secret agent for the devil. See, that's what happens when we let ourselves get out of the spirit, and when we won't discipline ourselves to get back into the spirit before others notice. Our attitude disrupts everything positive that is happening around us.
Really, taking responsibility for keeping ourselves on the rails is only the very first, most basic step toward becoming a spiritual adult. Paul said, "Let each person bear their own burden." But then he said something that seemed to contradict it. He said, "Bear one another's burdens." (Galatians 6:2-5) This harder command is the next step. We need to become an adult so that we can help the babies. First we start getting our own life in order; and then we start helping others to get their lives in order... not just as a self-righteous preacher, but as someone who really cares.
If we start thinking a little more of someone besides ourselves, we are more likely to stop getting out of the spirit and be able to spot needs in others (and in ourselves) and deal with them in Christian wisdom and love.
One very serious observation that is worth making: When someone is out of the spirit, they rarely ever mention God at all. They lose sight of what God wants. All that matters is what they want, how they have been hurt, what their opinion is, as opposed to someone else's opinion, etc. You really can't get much more backslidden than that, now, can you? Until we bring God back into the picture, and get serious about finding his will and obeying him, we’re pretty much useless to others and to him.
We all have weaknesses, and some habits are hard to change. But even that would be helped if we would just confess our weaknesses and ask for help from others in overcoming them. But while we cover up and justify our weaknesses, we will never get anywhere. So if we won't help ourselves, and if we won't ask for help, then what point is there in us staying around?
Someone feeling sorry for themselves could take that last line as an excuse to leave the community and commit spiritual suicide. However, this is a classic illustration of the kind of problem being addressed in this article.
Adults know that if they commit suicide, they have no one to blame but themselves for doing it.